How much is a wife responsible?

Did I tell you we went to court alone, they had many a solicitor on their side, we had…. well, I thing I took a twix to keep me going.  I didn’t handle this very well, I think I spent most of the time in tears thinking of the legal bills they were running up.

OK, message to all you kids out there – want to make a mint?  Study, study and study and become a solicitor.  Than basically you can charge what you like for sitting on your tooty in a chair.  Brilliant.  Why didn’t I study that hard?  Whilst in the ante-room to the court, I was besieged by a woman acting for the other side, who said the only reason she had called me at 9pm was so that we were prepared for the meeting.  Hmmm, 9pm, to my home, to me who hadn’t done anything.  Where exactly was the kindness in that act.  I just failed to see it.

I started emailing anyone I could find on the internet who might help us.  Again and again “we do not cover civil legal aid” except for one lady, Marie, who suddenly, like a lighthouse in a raging sea, suggested a company I might contact who might be able to help me ringfence my money.

You have to bear in mind that prior to marrying my husband, I had my own home, my own income, my own savings.  These were in the process of being eroded by the decisions of my husband.  Is this right?  I know you marry “for richer, for poorer” but where does the line in the sand end?  It looked like we were going to have to pay back sums of money, but where would the balance end?

We had to agree to a HUGE sum of money, and I mean HUGE, for the initial costs incurred by the forensic accounts.  Amazingly the judge thought these costs were reasonable.  You could have knocked me down with a feather.  Reasonable?  If you earned that amount of money in a year, you would have been considered extremely well paid.  I know there were a team of accountants, but really, the amount was excessive.

The only way of paying this sum of money was for an “asset” to be liquidated.  So that was one bill sorted, what about going forward?  We tried (unsuccessfully) at one point to withdrawn my inheritance passed to me by my mother on her demise, but it was decided that the money in our account was so “tainted” with “stolen” sums that it was not possible to say whether these funds were clean.  What really hurt was the words used “alleged” inheritance, like I’d lied about the death of my mum.

History of Events – part 6

I think this point in the events was our lowest.  We had no internet access – being “honest” and upstanding, we’d been asked not to use the company installed broadband line and we duly obliged.  We also had to return all company property so were left with no computer, just my laptop, but no internet access. This did cause huge problems as I’ve mentioned previously, because we were dealing with a London company of solicitors who bombarded us with requests for information.  I was trying my best with a remote internet access thingy, which was hopeless.    We couldn’t decide whether we could now afford to get broadband on our home phone line, but eventually decided it was the best way out of the situation.  BT came up trumps eventually – we thought we’d cancelled our initial installation only to find they (BT) hadn’t done the cancelling – we were back on line.

I look back on my emails and boy were we given the run around.  One solicitor finally said he’d act for us, only to inflame matters with an off the cuff letter, and then he went on holiday.  His replacement (a different solicitor) decided ALL our money was tainted and therefore could not act for us.

Around about this time I started searching the web for anyone who might be able to help us and sent emails to anyone who looked as though they had experience in this complex field.  Still being bombarded with legal documents from “the other side” meant days were spent for me – in a whirl, for my husband – sitting on a chair alternating between crying over what he was putting me through, crying for the shame of what he had done and crying at the thought of how meaningless his life now was.

I’m trying to remember the order of “stuff” but it is difficult.  I know we walked and walked and walked in an effort to combat the depression.  Husband was reluctantly taking anti-depressants and I was issuing him sleeping pills at night, then hiding them.  He couldn’t sleep without medication, he’d get up in the middle of the night – I set a video up in the spare bedroom so he could watch tv, but sitting in the dark going over events was more preferable to him.    It was a dark, dark time.  And apart from the help and support of friends, we were alone, incapable of dealing with the wolves at the door.

I’ve decided my blog needs more structure as I get too confused with what happened when.  So I’m going to go back through my emails and next time will be more in order!