It occurs to me, after reading a very factual and well reported article in our local paper, that I might let you know how I appealed to the judge for mitigation for my husband. Problem is, how do I do that granting anonymity to (a) husband, (b) reporter (who I have already thanked) and (c) the company who suffered at the hands of my husband. So on the basis that I have already written to the reporter, he knows my gratitude for his factual report, I can leave out names and details. Also, I cannot link you to the press article, because I cannot find it (thankfully) on the web.
A Plea for Mitigation for My Husband
When my husband came home from work last February and told me he had been suspended for incorrect use of company air miles, I did not react in the “normal” manner – I was elated, relieved. At last he would leave that wretched company that had taken over his and our lives.
I’m afraid I have to step back a few years to explain how I first met (My Husband). (The Company) was run by two brothers, (Brother A and Brother B). I left a profitable job in the film industry, in London to return to my roots and secured the job as P.A. to (Brother A), the then Managing Director of (The Company). The reason I decided I could work locally, for a (this type of) company, was because (Brother A) had the flamboyancy of “film types” I had been used to. On my interview with him, he was waiting for a shirt to be delivered, from a London outfitter, because he had gone to the gym in the morning and forgotten to bring a clean shirt. The first time I noticed (My Husband) was when, after working for (Brother A) for a month or so, I was asked to go to (My Husband) for a dollar cheque in order to pay for the holiday I had just booked for (Brother A)’s family in Hawaii. (My husband) was incredulous.
And so it continued until my relationship with (My husband) became known by (Brother A) and I was called into the office and told “it’s not going to work”. I asked (Brother A) if he was sacking me, he just repeated what he said. I left; I moved on, fighting an unfair dismissal case was not in my nature.
I don’t actually know if I can plead for leniency, having had to listen to years of these sorts of stories, having our holidays interrupted by calls from one or other of the brothers, having evenings out cancelled because (My Husband) had to attend to some fatuous emergency, having had to live with a man plunging further and further into a depressive state, I was, and still am, thankful he is away from that company and the thought of him spending time in prison is almost a relief.
I am bracing myself to be without the husband I had already lost for so many years and who suddenly, since this horrendous event, has been returned to me. The man I knew and wanted to marry. I fought hard with him last February when he wanted to commit suicide, nearly joined him a few months later when without any legal representation we were being bombarded by the other side’s lawyers and I was being dragged into the affair, but now, with the help of anti-depressants (!) we are rebuilding our lives. This experience has actually opened our eyes to the world around us. I am now voluntary Area Secretary for Shannon Trust which runs the Toe by Toe programme within the prison system, have secured myself a prime P.A. position in the heart of Kent and together we are living a quiet, loving life.
I appreciate and understand that (My Husband) needs to be punished for what he did. I have taken my punishment, even though I had no knowledge of what he was doing, by being stripped of all our assets and giving up our family home, but even this is not a hardship. Friends that were not true friends have fallen by the wayside, but we have been embraced and supported by those around us that (My Husband) did not have the time to appreciate.
(My Husband)’s children have also been affected by his actions in that they no longer have the financial support he was able to give them, but they go from strength to strength and (My Husband) has finally discovered that there is more to life than money – his children love and respect him for what he is, their father. (My Husband)’s ex-wife has been a tower of support to us during this affair, explaining to (My Husband) that whatever he did would not cloud his children’s love for him as their father.
Although we went through a rocky moment, I fully support (My Husband) and his absence will be most keenly felt by me. But I am stoic. He will come back to me and we will pick up from where we have left off. I hope that the people he is currently working for – in one case, even though money is tight for us, for free – will rally round us on his release, for they know the true (My Husband). The funny, kind, loving man I married.