I feel shitty. I spent 10mins this morning sitting on the stairs sobbing my heart out. Not only do I have a husband in prison, but now I’ve been sacked. I’ll not go into the sacking in any detail because I wish to appeal what I feel is a grossly unfair decision.
What else is making me tear my hair out – Legal Aid. Good old Legal Aid. I have been advised, by Legal Services Commission that now that my husband has been sentenced, they will no longer consider appealing any decision about the amount he has to contribute. They seem to be sticking to the £8,000.00 figure and I have nothing to tell me how they have come to this amount. Would you pay £8,000.00 without any details on how this figure originated? Take you car to the garage, and they say, through clenched teeth “that’ll be £1,980.00”. What would you do – write out a cheque there and then saying “thank you my good man, I’m sure you’ll do an excellent and worthwhile job.” Like billy bonkers you would, you’d say “How much!!!! What are you going to do for that amount”. Ah ha, a breakdown of costs is it that you are requiring.
Well, not with legal aid. What happens is that you tell them all you details, how much money you (don’t) have and your bills you have to pay, then they stick their finger in the air and arrive at an arbitrary figure. Or so it seems.
And another thing. What about the fact that I’m supposed to be paying this seeing as THE FREEZING ORDER IS STILL IN PLACE. Yep, maybe this is just what I needed, a bit of vitriol. Still don’t have access to the now negative balanced bank account, Barclays still have not sorted out with “other side’s” lawyers on the sum of £2,500 owing. And I’ve just received notification of the bill racking up with husband’s ex-Institute……..
For the record, I am as depressed as I was this time last year. Not as depressed as I was in October 2010 when I did want to end my life, but well back on the way. I just hope that there is a light, just a little flicker, at the end of this incredibly long, black, dark, stinking tunnel.