On forgiveness


It’s Saturday, I’m doing the ironing, and as normal my mind is never still.  It’s visiting day today so I have to cram in all those weekend chores before 1pm because I really like to try to relax on Sunday before I’m back at work on Monday.

Digression No.1:  Ironing.  The other day, I was ironing a nice crisp cotton shirt and needed my water sprayer as the creases wouldn’t come out.  Got down water sprayer, but would the damn thing work – oh no. Pump, pump, pump – nada.  So I had to buy a new one (.99p thank you Dobbies).  Got home, attempted to iron said shirt and would the damn thing work – oh no.  Pump, pump, pump – nada.  So cursing, I went into the nephew’s room complaining bitterly and spraying the thing at him, saying “bloody thing, doesn’t work”.  “Oi” remonstrates nephew “don’t spray it at me”.  “But it doesn’t work, so it doesn’t matter who I aim it at” says I, and demonstrated by spraying my head, suicide by gunshot style.  And yes, you’re there before me, what did the wretched thing decide to do….. work.  Wet head.  Sod’s law at it’s finest.

Back to ironing.  I was thinking about forgiveness.  I’ve tried to contact a couple of ex-colleagues via the business web site “LinkedIn”.  I’ve listed myself, because I need a job that makes the best use of the skills I’ve built up over many years, and it would be really good to get some working recommendations from ex-colleagues.  Trouble is, I’ve muddied the water by putting the link to this blog on my LinkedIn site.  Now, as explained before, I have done this to indicate that I am not being dishonest or attempting to cover up my past.  I do not want a repeat of what happened at the Agricultural Society – them not knowing what had happened to me and getting hot under the collar.  I have no secrets.  I have not heard from the ex colleague at the Agricultural Society and that makes me feel like a pariah.  Is it because I know my husband and therefore know what a good man he really is.  People who only hear my side of the story must think – oh yes, she would say that wouldn’t she.   So there I am, ironing, cussing under my breath, also about the woman at the Agricultural Society who went to the Board of Directors to tell them that I had printed out an email (that was about my husband), showed it to her and took it home – the reason for my sacking/leaving.   And then all others came back to mind.  How about the Managing Director I worked for who said “it’s not working” when I began dating my future husband?  “What do you mean it’s not working” asked I.  “It’s not working – I’ve spoken to people and it’s not working”.  “Are you asking me to leave?” I asked.  “I’m not saying that, I’m just saying it’s not working” was his replied.  I enquired further “Are you asking me to break off the relationship with Mike?”   All I got was a repetition of “It’s not working”.  Another job over – note: how many jobs do I have to lose due to my husband before I leave him……?

So there was another imaginary “come the revolution”.  But then I thought, no.  Hang on.  Take the Managing Director – I got that job due to such a weird series of events.  I had left the film company (Majestic) where I had worked for the past 13 years, to join  another, smaller TV production company.  One day, out of the blue, I got a call from an ex-Majestic colleague who said she was also now leaving Majestic as she had found a local job.  She lived not too far from me, so I told her how jealous I was that she had found a well-paid job so close to home, wished her well and forgot about it.  About a month or so later, she called me again to say she hated her local job!  She was going to leave and if I wanted, I should apply for the vacancy.  This was music to my ears.  A job just 10 mins from my home.  I got that job and that is how I met Mike.  So, if I was to curse and rue the day I ever met the Managing Director, the consequence would have been that I would not have met my future husband.  Now, there are some of you that might say that would have been a better course of action, but I do not agree!  I didn’t marry until much later that the average gal, I was waiting for Mr Right.  Mike is my Mr Right.  I knew from the first date, although it took him some years to come to the same conclusion.  He is the only person for me, we go together like all the clichés you have ever quoted.

So what is the unintended consequence of being sacked/resigning from the Agricultural Society?  Well, I admit, that is a tricky one to discover at the moment, but I am sure there will be an unforeseen event which will make me say – hang on, if I hadn’t had lost my job there, I wouldn’t have been working here – or something like that.  So I can bear no grudges.  No, wait a moment, there is one person out there who I do bear a grudge against.  Someone I never met but who must have so hated me/us that he chose to hammer us down into the ground.  And the lawyers Field Fisher Waterhouse.  No-one personally obviously, but the company.  Nasty people.  People who do not know you, but who are “just doing my job” now those I think I can reserve judgement upon.

The point of this bulletin – well, I may send this link directly to the person I was trying to contact at the Agricultural Society, just so they can maybe have a read and discover what I have been through recently, and maybe they can link up with me and say that “yes, I knew Carol professionally, and I found her………”  In business, I have found it important not to make enemies because you never, ever know what’s around the corner and if you want to succeed, then it’s best to be on good terms with everyone.   No, there’s another one I won’t have anything to do with, even though I could really do with a reference from her because I worked for her for nearly a year.  She definitely stabbed me in the back!  Oh well, we can’t be perfect can we.

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