Where I find myself now.

Where are we now?  Time has worked its wonders and provided a comforting buffer between now and that fateful day.   Some events are still too painful to retrieve but others can be taken out of the memory cupboard, dusted down and inspected at leisure.  I’ve yet to discover any humour in what happened, I don’t believe we will never “look back and laugh”.  First anniversary milestones have thankfully come and gone and as with all annual events, repetition has made their impact flabby.

It’s only material things that have changed, but these have been the catalyst for dramatic conversions of opinions and actions.  I am no longer a “lady of leisure”.  I, like the majority of the population, work for my honest crust.  I am still thankful that I was spared enough money to purchase my house outright, to provide a roof over our heads, to give us a place of sanctuary.  If I’d have had to get a mortgage, I don’t know where we would be right now, my salary just couldn’t take the extra expense and to date Mike is still not earning.

The most important and fundamental change has been to us – as a couple.  We have been brought so close together by this event and more, we both have a desire to help others who find themselves in the same situation as we do.  I used to wonder if, upon release, Mike would wish to turn his back on the experience, to move away as far and fast as possible, but it has not proved to be the case.  He is now, together with a colleague, also a person with a criminal conviction, trying to establish a company that trains offenders whilst they are serving their sentence and finds them work, and continues to provide work on release.  The knock on effect is that they can turn their back on crime, in some cases a fervent desire of the offender but even more so of their families.  Serving a prison sentence is not over when you are released, society continues to punish.  Let’s differentiate here from those wanting to turn their lives around and those that do not accept they have done wrong.  You do the crime, you do the time, but if they want to, let’s give everyone an equal chance to find a job and put right what they have done wrong.  Prisons cost you and me a huge amount of money and I for one would rather not have ex-offenders join the numbers of long term unemployed and become reliant on state benefits.

I’ve not really got any more to add to my blog, I think we have come full circle and now my time is taken up with work and helping Mike get this business off the ground.  It was a good thing to do at the time, a vent for all my rage and indignation.  There are some people who I really wished could have read what I was going through, but I simply doubt it would have had any effect on their lives.